The art of doing nothing
I see it all the time.
Jam packed schedules. No free weekends. Overcommitted.
Usually a question I have is “what do you do in your free time?” and almost routinely they respond, “what free time?”
I knew this was a topic that needed to be talked about more when I noticed my clients, even players, talk about their obscene schedules.
When I heard “I had school 8-3, then practice 3-5, then travel practice 6-8 and lifting 8-9” I about fell out of my chair. This schedule is not meant for anyone.
I believe this is where a lot of the ‘busyness disease’ stems from in our young athletes.
Being busy has become a brag in society. Your schedule is seen as a status symbol- how busy can we get to prove to others our high-status in the community along with success.
The problem with this mindset is you never have the chance to let your body and mind rest. Over-scheduling ourselves can greatly impact our mental and physical well-being, also impacting our ability to maintain healthy relationships.
A lot of creativity and growth happens when we are simply -doing nothing.
Reasons for being perpetually busy
You’re actually just anxious
You base your self-worth on your schedule
You don’t want to sit with your thoughts and emotions- avoidance
You grew up thinking that’s what you’re supposed to do
You feel like a failure if you’re not involved
You feel lazy
Check-in with your commitments
Do you actually enjoy them?
Are there some that maybe you could reduce or eliminate?
Are you filling your time with activities that you feel obligated to? (that’s a separate boundary talk!)
Emotional Health
Individuals who are busy by choice often feel needed by others, successful, important, which inflates their sense of self.
In addition, some people are always busy as a way to avoid or numb painful situations by staying super busy, they are unable to focus on what may be bothering them or causing them discomfort beneath the surface.
When busyness is glorified and encouraged, we may end up overextending ourselves with varied obligations, commitments, and responsibilities. The emotional consequences of being always busy include having feelings of:
Anxiety or depression
Increased stress and overwhelm
Inadequacy or incompetence
Frustration, anger, and guilt
Loneliness or hopelessness
Relationships
Usually with demanding schedules that leaves no time left to devote to the relationships in our life. This can leave busy people feeling lonely and isolated. We don’t normally say to ourselves “well at least I have my busy schedule to comfort me”. Don’t prioritize your schedule more than the people in your life.
The art of doing nothing
Spend time with loved ones
Set boundaries with others- it’s ok to say no. Sacrificing our well-being to be available to others will only hurt your overall wellness in the future.
Remember that self-worth does not come from being busy. Take time to reflect what self-worth actually means and what fulfills that for you.
Set a reminder to have solo time. Time to sit with your thoughts. Process your day. Recognize and feel your emotions.
Recognize the discomfort. Are you hiding behind your schedule? Processing with a therapist can be a helpful tool.
I challenge all of my clients to create space and time in their life to implement the art of doing nothing. I pass that challenge along to you
